Sample Essay #1 |
"An Udder-ly ridiculous day" |
The following essay was written by one of my students.
When reading it, note the following:
An Udder-ly Ridiculous Day
It was time for school and the cow got on the bus. Although I don’t usually dress in cow prints, I was proud of the big black patches dotting my face and all-white clothes, my pink-colored nose, and the udder made from an inflated latex glove protruding from the front of my shirt. I was the only sophomore on the Varsity field hockey team, and I wanted to go all-out to show my team spirit when the captains told us to dress-up as an animal. Two juniors invited me to be a lion with them, but I declined because I thought my “cowfit” would be more outrageous and more likely to win the “best dress-up” award at the end of the season. I outdid myself, really.
Standing at the bus stop, I wrapped my puffy winter jacket around my body and held in the blown up latex “udder” close to my stomach. I sat next to a junior on my team who was not hiding a costume underneath a winter jacket, like me. “You’re going to look so stupid!” was my initial reaction to her t-shirt and jeans.
“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t feel like dressing up today.”
We walked into school together and approached several teammates in the crowded hall. None of them had teased hair, whiskers, and a tail. No girls dressed in pink with a snout and a curly tail. No cheetah prints or zebra stripes. Why was I the only animal in this jungle of high school?
That’s when her sealed lips burst at the seams and a stampede of laughter filled the confusion. I was pranked. My cheeks continued to fail me and I became brighter than a traffic light. My eyes kept widening as I looked my teammate up and down past the denim stitches and wrinkles in her overly worn vintage t-shirt. What I thought was going to be a loud cry of embarrassment was overtaken by the increasing upward bend in my mouth. We were crouched down in the middle of the hallway with our eyes squinted shut and our arms wrapped around our stomachs laughing until our abs were sorer than five hundred sit-up workouts. As soon as we separated, I realized the extent of this prank. There I was standing in the middle of a crowded hallway with black spots, a pink nose, and an udder.
Although I have never since come to school with udders and spots, and I don’t plan on seeing cow prints in People Magazine or Cosmopolitan, I think that day was more than just a fashion statement. I proved to myself that I am comfortable in my own skin, even if it has spots. My go-with-the-flow attitude was brought to life and my smile that lasted throughout the day and the sore abs the next day spoke for itself. I am perceptive enough to know that this prank was not to insult me or make me feel rejected from the team. It was exactly the opposite. They were unifying us and initiating me into something great. It was through my playful personality throughout the season, and the previous dress-up days that I went full-out for, that sparked the prank. It is my style to give over 100% in everything I do and to laugh along to embarrassing situations. It was overall an udder-ly ridiculous day.
When reading it, note the following:
- Attention-grabbing first sentence
- Dialogue (inner and interpersonal) to bring the characters to life
- Uses embarrassing moment to reveal competitiveness, self-confidence, and positive attitude
An Udder-ly Ridiculous Day
It was time for school and the cow got on the bus. Although I don’t usually dress in cow prints, I was proud of the big black patches dotting my face and all-white clothes, my pink-colored nose, and the udder made from an inflated latex glove protruding from the front of my shirt. I was the only sophomore on the Varsity field hockey team, and I wanted to go all-out to show my team spirit when the captains told us to dress-up as an animal. Two juniors invited me to be a lion with them, but I declined because I thought my “cowfit” would be more outrageous and more likely to win the “best dress-up” award at the end of the season. I outdid myself, really.
Standing at the bus stop, I wrapped my puffy winter jacket around my body and held in the blown up latex “udder” close to my stomach. I sat next to a junior on my team who was not hiding a costume underneath a winter jacket, like me. “You’re going to look so stupid!” was my initial reaction to her t-shirt and jeans.
“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t feel like dressing up today.”
We walked into school together and approached several teammates in the crowded hall. None of them had teased hair, whiskers, and a tail. No girls dressed in pink with a snout and a curly tail. No cheetah prints or zebra stripes. Why was I the only animal in this jungle of high school?
That’s when her sealed lips burst at the seams and a stampede of laughter filled the confusion. I was pranked. My cheeks continued to fail me and I became brighter than a traffic light. My eyes kept widening as I looked my teammate up and down past the denim stitches and wrinkles in her overly worn vintage t-shirt. What I thought was going to be a loud cry of embarrassment was overtaken by the increasing upward bend in my mouth. We were crouched down in the middle of the hallway with our eyes squinted shut and our arms wrapped around our stomachs laughing until our abs were sorer than five hundred sit-up workouts. As soon as we separated, I realized the extent of this prank. There I was standing in the middle of a crowded hallway with black spots, a pink nose, and an udder.
Although I have never since come to school with udders and spots, and I don’t plan on seeing cow prints in People Magazine or Cosmopolitan, I think that day was more than just a fashion statement. I proved to myself that I am comfortable in my own skin, even if it has spots. My go-with-the-flow attitude was brought to life and my smile that lasted throughout the day and the sore abs the next day spoke for itself. I am perceptive enough to know that this prank was not to insult me or make me feel rejected from the team. It was exactly the opposite. They were unifying us and initiating me into something great. It was through my playful personality throughout the season, and the previous dress-up days that I went full-out for, that sparked the prank. It is my style to give over 100% in everything I do and to laugh along to embarrassing situations. It was overall an udder-ly ridiculous day.
