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    • Benefits of Choosing the Write Angle
    • Brainstorming
    • Structuring
    • Fine-Tuning
    • Sample Essays >
      • #1 - An Udder-ly Ridiculous Day
      • #2 - A Night Alone in the Woods
      • #3: Something Unknown About Me
      • #4 - The Wheels on the Robot
      • #5 - The Screaming Silence
      • #6 - String Theory
      • #7 - Hometown
      • #8 - Why I Refuse to be Silent
      • #9 - Painful Lessons
  • The Process
    • The Process
    • Timing
    • Working Together
    • The Parents' Role
  • About Andrea
  • Testimonials
  • Successes
  • Pricing
  • Resume Consulting
    • Example Wording
    • Common Writing Mistakes
  • Quotes from Admission Officers

Essays on Essays

The College Essay - The Neglected Step-Sister

5/15/2015

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The college essay is often the Cinderella of the Application family.  Step-sisters Grades and Test Scores are showered with attention to prepare for the Admissions Ball, including finding the best tutors in the Kingdom.  But poor Essayrella is rarely included in any of the primping.  On the eve of the Admissions Ball, Grades and Test Scores are confident and ready to vie for the Prince-ton’s heart, but poor Essayrella has to pull an all-nighter if she has any hope of making it to the Ball.

As everyone knows, Essayrella ends up going to the Admissions Ball in style and wins the heart of the Prince-ton.  But the outcome is due largely to the intervention of Essayrella’s Fairy Godmother Consultant who helps Essayrella spin her drab workaday clothes into a beautiful, one-of-a-kind gown, and sees the potential in a pumpkin to become a working vehicle.  Even more importantly, Essayrella’s Fairy Godmother Consultant gives her advice on how to present herself at the Admissions Ball and capture the Prince-ton's attention.

At the Admissions Ball, all the attendees arrive in their finery.  Step-sisters Grades and Test Score are shocked to see thousands of other guests wearing the exact same gowns, and they immediately blend into the crowd.    Many of the guests inexplicably check their social graces in the Palace coatroom.  They waste their precious few minutes with the Prince-ton by boasting about some relatively inconsequential achievement (how unattractive!), trying to impress him with big words and vague platitudes (so, who are you really?), or worst of all, chattering on about yet another (ho-hum) sports injury or community services trip. 

In contrast, Essayrella captures the Prince-ton’s attention by vividly telling him a story, unique to her, that reveals her irresistible charms without having to spell them out.  The Prince-ton is intrigued by her unpretentiousness and honesty.  He immediately realizes that he wants to get to know Essayrella better.

But alas, with thousands of attendees at the Ball, the Prince-ton cannot linger with Essayrella for very long.  Fortunately, Essayrella left a unique and clear impression, like a glass slipper that could fit no one else.  The Prince-ton shares his favorable impression of Essayrella with his admissions nobles, who agree that she would be a perfect fit for the Prince-ton.  The Palace sounds its trumpets and sends for the Earl of Mail (a.k.a EMail) to deliver a message to Essayrella, informing her that she has earned a much-coveted spot in the Prince-ton’s Palace.


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    Andrea Friedlander

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